YOU NEVER STOP BEING A PARENT! - Blog

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Your questions this week were a perfect intro into this phrase that popped up during my conversation with Greg on the show. Do you ever struggle with the transition period from adolescence to teenage years to college years as a parent? Is there even a transition period? Is your athlete the only one dealing with the challenges of new schools and new coaches and new approaches?

As a parent of a youth athlete I think you start off, much like parenting in general, with a very hands-on and “all-in” sort of approach. When you have a little one who is five or six or eight years old who shows an interest in a particular sport YOU make the calls, take them to practices, get to know the coaches, watch their practices and attend all the games. You pretty much see it all. At least a lot of the time or most of the time. For some, maybe sports teams can become a collective “babysitter” and athletes are dropped off and picked up without much meaningful interaction between the parents and a coach. But I’d venture to say for the majority it’s an awesome, memory producing, exciting, and fun filled time of helping your young son or daughter find new friends, new passions, figure how to deal with adversity and how great being part of a team is. As a parent it’s such a rewarding time seeing them grow, and laugh, and push themselves, learn from others, and enjoy the successes of improving their skills at something they’ve put time into. Youth sports can be such a great training ground for the challenges and opportunities of life ahead.

But as a parent that can change as your young athlete moves into high school sports and their maturation process leads them increasingly to exploring the separation from close parental involvement toward the independence they seek and need to have as a college student and adult…both in athletics and in life. And it’s a good thing. Ultimately our goal as parents, as the Bible says, is to “train up” your kids when they are younger so that eventually they’ll be successful contributors in society…not necessarily financially or in a worldly way, but from the perspective of being good hearted people who are respectful, responsible, have strong relationships in their life, are caring, can deal with adversity and challenges, and give back to others. Figuring out how to be that parent isn’t always easy.

This week’s questions very ironically illustrate that very point.

One parent wrote in wanting to know about their young 5 yer old daughter starting gymnastics, wondering if it was too early. I love the sense of awareness this parent has and their thoughtfulness in taking into account the safety of their young one. It’s the perfect approach to being the parent of a 5 year old. The daughter certainly isn’t wise enough or experienced enough in life to consider these questions. That’s the parent’s job!

Then another parent, on the compete opposite end of the “youth sports” spectrum contacted Youth Sports Now about the concerns they had for their college lacrosse athlete – going away to school and wondering if the nutritional needs were being met and if the training regimen was appropriate or maybe too extreme. The love of a parent doesn’t end when that once little one running around in the mass of bodies in youth lacrosse are all bunched together, out of position, trying to scoop up the ground ball, unintentionally kicking it and mishitting it around the field for what can seem like an eternity…

sorry, just had a relapse into our days in youth lacrosse and youth soccer…..

that love doesn’t end when they move on to college and are more than an arm’s length or a call out to the backyard to come in for dinner.

It can be a frustrating time as a parent having your “young” athlete gone, especially if away from your home town. Wondering if their coach is REALLY keeping your athlete’s best interests at heart enough. Really making sure they encourage proper nutrition and fueling for the rigors of college athletics. Concerned that a “your a big boy now” sort of hard-core, boot camp style of training won’t produce injuries. Hoping that all that can be done will be done when your athlete gets injured at school, and won’t become “just another number” in the training room.

You STILL want the best for them. It may be at a distance…and maybe a bit uncomfortable to “see your eagle flying” on their own and feeling unable to help directly as easily or as much. And while that college athlete may, with great concern for avoiding their anticipated life-altering embarrassment, beg you “Please Mom, don’t call coach” or “Dad, I’m not a baby – don’t call my trainer” …YOU NEVER STOP BEING A PARENT!

It’s encouraging to me to watch parents continue to work through the challenges of finding the right balance of increasing their young athlete’s independence and “figuring it out for themselves” and “laying in the bed you made” while still providing the mentor-ship of someone who more easily can step back and see the big picture and maybe has “been there” before themselves and has valuable wisdom to still offer.

While it might seem much easier to be the parent of that 5 year old gymnast, easily accepted by all involved as playing a very hands-on role in their young athlete’s venture though sports, whether you have a little one or a “big one” who is in their late teens or early 20′s and playing college sports, you’ve each got unique challenges and maybe a different role to play…..but go ahead and play it!

Talking openly with your athlete and with their coaches, when done with respect and out of a heart of genuine concern for your son or daughter is a good thing.

“YOU NEVER STOP BEING A PARENT!”

You’ve just gotta think about how you’ll adapt to that changing role over time and how you can be your son or daughter’s best advocate.

Our staff here at PEAK PERFORMANCE Physical Therapy & Sports Training is here to support you in caring for your young athlete. Give us a call if we can be of any help….218-0240 or check out more about us on our website at PEAKPTrochester.com